favorite quotes

Since OoP, I've kept a piece of notebook paper with me when reading each of the HP books for the first time. As I read, I jot down quotes that make me laugh. By the time I was done with DH, I ha 3 college-ruled pieces of paper, though some of it had other notes, it wasn't all funny quotes. But much of it was. I want to list them here for my own enjoyment as well as anyone else who might want to pause from the serious analysis for a bit of the light-hearted.

Page numbers are from the Scholastic hardcover edition.

"Ooh, you look much tastier than Crabbe and Goyle, Harry," said Hermione. p. 50

"Oh, of course," said Ron, clapping a hand to his forehead. "I forgot we'll be hunting down Voldemort in a mobile library." p. 95

"You know, I think I will take Hogwarts, A History. Even if we're not going back there, I don't think I'd feel right if I didn't have it with--" p. 96

how in the name of Merlin's pants . . . p. 101

Mr. Weasley gave a maniacal laugh; Mrs. Weasley threw him a look, upon which he became immediately silent and assumed an expression appropriate to the sickbed of a close friend. p. 108

"This isn't your average book," said Ron . . . "If only I'd had this last year, I'd have known exactly how to get rid of Lavender and I would've known how to get going with . . . well, Fred and George gave me a copy, and I've learned a lot. You'd be surprised, it's not all about wandwork, either." p. 113

"I'll pack those for you," Hermione said brightly, taking Harry's presents out of his arms as the three of them headed back upstairs. "I'm nearly done, I'm just waiting for the rest of your underpants to come out of the wash, Ron -- "

"Are you planning to follow a career in Magical Law, Miss Granger?" asked Scrimgeour.
"No, I'm not," retorted Hermione. "I'm hoping to do some good in the world!" p. 123

"Oh, it can't be a reference to the fact Harry's a great Seeker, that's way too obvious," she said. "There must be a secret message from Dumbledore hiding in the icing!" p. 127

"No," said Harry, still wondering how he could appear to touch the Snitch without really doing so. If only he knew Legilimency, really knew it, and could read Hermione's mind; he could practically hear her brain whirring beside him. p. 128

"All the old kids' stories are supposed to be the Beedle's, aren't they? 'The Fountain of Fair Fortune' . . . 'The Wizard and the Hopping Pot' . . . 'Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump' . . ." p. 135

"When I get married," said Fred, tugging at the collar of his own robes, "I won't be bothering with any of this nonsense. You can all wear what you like, and I'll put a full Body-Bind curse on Mum until it's all over." p. 138

"Daddy, look -- one of the gnomes actually bit me."
"How wonderful! Gnome saliva is enormously beneficial," said Mr. Lovegood.

George: "I wish old Uncle Bilius was still with us, though; he was a right laugh at weddings."
"Wasn't he the one who saw a Grim and died twenty-four hours later?" asked Hermione.
"Well, yeah, he went a bit odd toward the end," conceded George.
"But before he went loopy he was the life and soul of the party," said Fred. "He used to down an entire bottle of firewhiskey, then run onto the dance floor, hoist up his robes, and start pulling bunches of flowers out of his --"
"Yes, he sounds a real charmer," said Hermione, while Harry roared with laughter.
"Never married, for some reason," said Ron.
"You amaze me," said Hermione. p. 142-3

"How do you know Gregorovitch made my vand?"
"I . . . I read it somewhere, I think," said Harry. "In a -- a fan magazine," he improvised wildly and Krum looked mollified. P. 149

"This girl is very nice-looking," Krum said, recalling Harry to his surroundings. Krum was pointing at Ginny, who had just joined Luna. "She is also a relative of yours?"
"Yeah," said Harry, suddenly irritated, "and she's seeing someone. Jealous type. Big bloke. You wouldn't want to cross him."
Krum grunted.
"Vot," he said, draining his goblet and getting to his feet again, "is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?" p. 150

"Maybe it's something you need to find out for yourself," said Hermione with a faint air of clutching at straws.
"Yeah," said Ron sycophantically, "that makes sense."
"No, it doesn't," snapped Hermione, "but I still think we ought to talk to Mr. Lovegood. p. 395

". . . the Dirigible Plum, so as to enhance the ability to accept the extraordinary." (X. Lovegood) p. 404

"You haven't heard of them? I'm not surprised. Very, very few wizards believe . . ." (X. Lovegood) p. 405

The smell from the kitchen was getting stronger; it was something like burning underpants. p. 416

"the fact remains that he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo . . ." (Fred, over the Potterwatch broadcast) p. 444

Hermione looked across the lake to the far bank, where the dragon was still drinking.
"What'll happen to it, do you think?" she asked. "Will it be all right?"
"You sound like Hagrid," said Ron. "It's a dragon, Hermione, it can look after itself. It's us we need to worry about."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I don't know how to break this to you," said Ron, "but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts." p. 548

"and it even sprouted a pretty good bathroom once girls started turning up --" p. 578

"Is this the moment?" Harry asked weakly, and when nothing happened except that Ron and Hermione gripped each other still more firmly and swayed on the spot, he raised his voice. "OI! There's a war going on here!"
Ron and Hermione broke apart, their arms still around each other.
"I know, mate," said Ron, who looked as though he had recently been hit on the back of the head with a Bludger, "so it's now or never, isn't it?" p. 625

"Hello, Minister," bellowed Percy . . . "Did I mention I'm resigning?" p. 636

"We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one,
And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!" (Peeves) p. 746